127 Hours

Watching this movie has been one of the most grotesque, magnificent things I can ever witness. Obviously most of you know this story... The one about the man who had to cut his arm off when an 800 pound boulder fell on his right arm, trapping it against a rock 100 feet below ground, in a crack where no one would soon find him. 

 Talk about being between a rock and a hard place! 

As I was watching the movie, I was curious about how accurate it was in relation to the real deal. Turns out, it was as accurate as you could get. (Minus the skillful cinematography.)

I read several articles and interviews about Aron Ralston, the man himself, whose personality is quite energetic and animated. He went through this experience with probably as much humor as anyone could, given the circumstances.

He tried, for days, to chip the boulder away by using a toolkit knife. He tried using his rock climbing ropes as a pulley system to lift the rock, but to no avail.

In an interview I found online, he talks about how he argued with himself about the idea of cutting his own arm off. 

"You know you have to cut it off, Aron." 

"I don't want to cut my arm off!" 

"Dude, you're gonna have to cut your arm off."

But he soon realized that the knife he brought along can barely cut through his own body hair. Then, as he felt an odd sensation as the bone bent a really weird way between the rocks, the idea came to him that he could use the boulder to break the bones in his arm.. Once the "POP" of the breaks echoed in the deep canyon, it was not as much of a feeling of horror for him as it was a feeling of euphoria.  His thoughts ran a long the track that his arm became an 'it'. 

Not his arm.  

It.  

It needs to go.  

It's useless now.  

It's going to kill you.

It took him about an hour to hack at the remaining flesh binding the arm together.

He Was Free.

The faces of his family and loved ones are what ultimately drove him to do what he did, rather than commit suicide or slowly bow down to death. Although many emotions circuited through him, there was never any hint of self-pity. Only the step-by-step problems that arose and their possible solutions. He had to find his strength, through the memories of his loved ones, to do what he needed to do...

Once he completed this task, he knew it would take him quite a while to find medical help and was well on his way to bleeding to death. On his way out of the Canyon, 3 Dutch tourists showed up, helped him (as you see in the movie), and soon a helicopter whisked him away to safety.

One of the most fascinating parts of the story, for me, is the aftermath. Looking back on what happened in Bluejohn Canyon no doubt changed his physical life. But the events that transpired from a fun canyon hike also changed his PERCEPTION.

His outlook that COULD HAVE easily been:

'I did this all on my own and God doesn't exist because if he did, he would've helped me out, that f-er.'

Instead, his belief is that:

"For me it was to go through this and realize, well, God IS love, and love is what kept me alive and that love is what got me out of there."

So, not only was this story itself quite astounding, but to leave it in that light is absolutely incredible to me.

Goodbye Lone Star State

Ok soooo...

Today is my last day here in Texas! It's bittersweet. Bitter because I have to leave my husband and I won't see him for a month... :( Sweet because I get to go home, see my family and friends, and get settled in an apartment!!! I'm super excited for that but I haven't been without Logan for more than like 3 days in a row so... Good luck to me.

Moving out here right after getting married was such a blessing, interestingly enough.Even though it was hard to leave everything I've ever known.... It was good to be on our own without anything familiar because with EVERYTHING we did we had to rely on each other! Now we can move forward into the school year knowing each other better than we could have had we not done this. Plus we're set with finances for quite a while... My husband is a s-t-u-d!.

Our biggest adventure here was our trip to Six Flags!!! I'd never been to an amusement park with such freakin intense rollercoaster rides.. Ah it was glorious.

But I will admit that I will not miss Texas that much.. Actually probably not at all... Haha. The weather has been at an all-time record HIGH this whole summer! It basically hasn't been below 100 degrees for about 3 weeks. Not to mention the humidity. And the drivers, OH the drivers here. They have no common sense... And I thought Utah drivers were bad, yikes.

And since I wasn't proactive with getting a job at the beginning of the summer I have spent all of it as a bum, not doing anything productive besides working on my tan and making sure we had enough food in the kitchen to feed our bellies. It was a nice break at first but it got extremely boring and for those of you who know me, I'm a busy body. I need to keep moving or I go crazy! A routine is something that I have been craving for the past little while.

AND OH HOW I MISS MY MOUNTAINS! 

I got used to it, but at first, I had no way of knowing which direction was North without the mountains to orient myself.

Well, anyway, I will be happy to get back to Utah.

And to Logan, I will miss you for the time that we're away! :( But at least it's not forever. 

Texas, so long!

The Simple Things Just.. Are.

This is it. There seriously is nothing better than the simple things in life.

• Random nerf gun fights
  Brownies...mmm
  Spontaneous dance parties in the living room
• The first sip of a cold Dr. Pepper after a hot afternoon
• The smell of freshly laundered clothing
• Kisses from loved ones
  Mom hugs (I swear they heal any illness)
• Laugh attacks- the kind that come suddenly and take forever to leave
• Otterpops
• Clean sheets
• Coming home
• Discovering money you didn't know you had
• Receiving letters/packages in the mail (REAL ONES- not junk)
• Making a yellow light
• Pull through parking spots
• The feeling after a good workout
• Holding hands with someone you like/love
• Making someone smile

I feel like the world now focuses WAY too much on money and fame and modern day conveniences. I know I'm typing on a computer, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a plethora of pleasures to appreciate that go beyond the internet and materialistic things.

Jim Brickman wrote a song that says it best...
The simple things just.. are. There is no way to explain the pleasure that is derived from them.

Please don't forget to stop and relish in them everyday.

Here's the song. Just click here...

Hey, time won't wait
Life goes by
Every day's a brand new sky
Every tear
Comes to dry
All that really matters in this crazy world
Is you and I together, baby
Just remember

The first leaves off the tree
The way you look at me
A thousand chiming church bells ring
The simple things are free
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are

So here we go
Let's just dance
Teach my soul to take this chance
Put my heart
In your hands
Out of all the moments that we leave behind
Turn around and tell me baby
We'll remember

The thunder and the rain
The way you say my name
After all the clouds go by
The simple things remain
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are

Oh, the ocean and the sky
The way we feel tonight
I know that it's the love that brings
The simple things to life
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
I love the way the simple things
The simple things just are

The ONLY Constant in Life...

Is CHANGE...

"Change, whether incremental or sudden, defines [us]."

This quote was posted on a sign at Yosemite National Park... It was obviously referring to the wind and water that shaped the beautiful nature views, but since I saw it a couple years ago, I've applied it in life.

To some, change is terrifying, and to others, it's exhilarating, but it's what keeps the world turning.

The circle of life, some call it.

People PASS ON,

NEW ones come into the world...

Friends grow APART,

And NEW friendships are formed...

People accomplish their GOALS,

Others take a quick BREAK from reality...

Some feel HEARTBREAK,

  

Some find NEW love...

It doesn't matter which changes come or when they come, whether they be good or bad. All we know is that they WILL come. To me, that is so hopeful. I find that there are phases in my life where I am MAD at change and I'm mad at who I've changed into at the moment, but since it's continual, I know that I can always change and grow to become someone better.

"The key to change is to let go of FEAR."

What we do and how we react to the changes hopefully shape us into a beautiful more beautiful version of ourselves.

Even though there is

   

So let's grab it by the reins and... LIVE IT!

Multi-Sensory Aesthetic Experience

It's interesting what music does to us.

Have you ever heard of the band Mae? 

Interestingly enough, the meaning for the name of the band ties in perfectly with my thoughts on music today.

Here I am, in Dallas, waiting to pick up a friend at the airport. It's a two hour drive from Tyler to Dallas and you know what that means... Jammin' out by myself in the car to music!

 As I was listening to the variety  of songs in my iPhone, it was extremely interesting to me how many of them brought back extremely vivid memories or feelings of some sort. 

• "Swing" -Savage reminds me of when all my girls at Utah State learned a dance to it. We'd promptly perform it in front of everyone at a dance party. Such excitement.
• "All I Do Is Win"- DJ Khaled reminds me of the many nights Hannah and I spent doing our closing duties at the wonderful Center Street Grill in Logan.
• ANY Mike Posner song reminds me of Logan. I didn't know of him before but Logan had him on his phone and we always listened to him. Also, "Good Morning Beautiful" is sung almost every morning to me by my dear husband!
• Any FTSK or Rocket Summer song reminds me of the band and how we'd BELT at the top of our lungs the words on the way to band practice.
• "Playing God"- Paramore reminds me of Ms. Kenzie Matthews. We were driving back to Logan after a concert and we listened and sang loudly to the whole Paramore album but our favorite was this song. *Points to the mirror*.
• I don't know why, but that one Chariots of Fire song always, ALWAYS reminds me of my dad. Ok I DO know why. 1. He runs marathons. 2. He loves that movie. 

Anyway, the list could go on and on.

The ironic thing is, McCall, the friend I picked up at the airport and I somehow got on the subject of the band Mae. I don't know how. But she said that M.A.E. stands for something... She couldn't remember but she knew the A stood for Aesthetic (pertaining to, involving, or concerned with pure emotion and sensation as opposed to pure intellectuality)... But she summarized it by saying it means that music triggers the memory of experiences of individuals.

H O W    I R O N I C ! 

My whole thought process while driving to her was just that! I just didn't know my jumbled thoughts had an actual name.

I found this definition on the MAE webpage:

WHAT IS MAE?

Multi-Sensory Aesthetic Experience

is the study of sensation, perception,

emotion, and meaning in art and music.

Music is what feelings sound like.

Music is TRUTH.

Star light... Star bright...

First star I see tonight,
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

Wishing upon a star... Everyone does it.

But wishing, or dreaming is only the first step.
DOING is the most important step when it comes to getting your wish.
This is something I've had to slowly learn throughout my life.

Lately I've been struggling with knowing what I want to do and who I want to be in my future.

I've gone through just over 2 years of school with many ambitions. I go in and out of knowing what I want.
But even still, when I know what I want I somehow never do what is necessary to get there!
I often feel lazy and not motivated. Since I've failed before, a part of me doesn't believe I can do it.

THIS IS NOT GOOD! In fact, it's ridiculous!

Who says I am going to fail?
Who says I can't do what I want to do and that I won't be successful?

NO ONE did.
No one except MYSELF.
I'm the only one in my way.

So... I've had an EPIPHANY.
Even though I don't know exactly what I want to do, I have decided to succeed.
To succeed in school and eventually in a career in which I can successfully change the world, no matter how small the impact.
I have decided to succeed.

That's all it really takes.
Success=

the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.

So, to anyone out there who doesn't know yet what they want,
Or if they don't believe in themselves,
My advice:

Keep on keepin on!  

Do not, I repeat, do not let yourself get in your own way.

There are several people out there who support you more than you know.

So keep on keepin on, people.

Where in the world...?

I have been many places in the world.

My top 5 go like this:

1. Greece
2. Italy
3. Lake powell
4. Cancun
5. Aruba

(And my dear husband, Cabo was wonderful because it was with you, but the place itself doesn't compare.)

Once you travel to some place completely out of your comfort zone, it brings on a whole new level of excitement and adventure. And there's no stopping the yearning for more and more travel.

No stopping it.

I call it: Travelinertia.

Maybe it's unhealthy. Maybe it's useless. Maybe none of us will ever get to visit where we want.

I'm not saying I'm ungrateful for what I've got and the experiences I've had. No, not at all!!!

If only, if only....

Portofino, Italy.

Innsbruck, Austria.

Barcelona, Spain.

Paris, France.

The Great Barrier Reef, Australia.

Ireland.

Srilanka.

BACK TO GREECE.

Greece. I dream about it almost every night. I want to retire to a Greek island with the one I love and relax.

Greece is defined by it's laid back atmosphere and rounded colorful houses.

Santorini.

The main question is..

WHY travel?

Mark Twain said:

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

I heard somewhere that "only from the outside can you look back in". Traveling not only helps an individual understand and respect other cultures, but it helps to understand ones OWN culture and values.

To Learn to have a world view. To have more self confidence and maturity.

The best things in life aren't things.

Experience is what makes us happy... Not materialistic possessions. Experiences create a connection between people. They make us feel alive and happy. Experiences not only make us more intelligent, but they make us more tolerable-- They make us wise.

Where will your dreams take you?

Mawage

Mar-riage
[mar-ij]
-The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

-The number one cause of divorce

-The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.

-In the USA: Legalized slavery for men. Legalized "you can do no wrong" for women.

TAKE YOUR PICK.

Simply put, marriage is a lot of different things to a lot of different people.


To me, marriage is:
A (legal) pact between two people (usually attracted to each other) to stay together forever in a working, two-way relationship.

Marriage is SO much more than a wedding. But to start off, my wedding day was 'magical' to say the least. Take a look for yourself! :)

It started off with a wonderful ceremony in the temple in which we were sealed together forever!

The whole group!

My lovely immediate family..

New Familyyyyy!

My lovely family and friends.

Next was the luncheon. Oh boy. The toasts...

This is what I learned from the words that were said.
Brace yourself.

• -You have to always, ALWAYS respect each other.
• -No secrets.
• -"If it's not about love, it's not worth it."
• -No marriage can be successful without prayer and the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

I'd have to say though... Shawn's words of wisdom by far took the cake.
To Logan:
"If it's hard, if it's heavy, if it will make you hot or if it will make you cold, if it takes a lot amount of energy, if it's not pleasant, if it's tiring, It's your job. If for some reason the wife does not want to do it, it then is by default, your job. Also, the husband should not have to be asked by the wife...he should be able to know just by "the look".
Exhibit A (the look):

THE RECEPTION.
Number one, WHY is it called a reception? I don't understand. Please, if you have any insight, feel free to share.

I want to give a shout out to my girls. They made the party a party. aldjkfkdsj LOVE.

Also, Logan, I'm sorry for shoving that cake in your face after the 'pinky promise'. My bad. Couldn't resist. Heheeeee.

We honeymooned in Cabo.... I won't spare you the details.

Anyway. Marriage. Love it.

WHY?

I have someone to fall asleep next to. I have someone to wake up to in the morning and sing "Good Morning Beautiful" even though I look far from beautiful.
I have someone who's face lights up when he walks in the door coming home from work. I have someone to take care of and who takes care of me. I have someone to knows how to always make me laugh. I have someone to love me and fill a hole in my heart I never thought I had. I have someone to giggle with and act like a complete goof with. I have someone to help me make an empty apartment in unfamiliar Tyler, Texas a home.

I have someone.

And that someone is perfect for me. That someone is the best thing that ever happened to me. That someone is now my husband and eternal companion.
That someone makes me happier everyday.

Who could ask for more?

Hold up, wait a minute, put a little LOVE in it!

Ok, ok, ok. I know that not many of you read this, but I must admit I quite forgot to update it... If anything I'm doing it for myself, but still...

Let's see. Where do I start? SOOO much has happened it's ridiculous!

First things first.

I fell in LOVE.

I'm engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who would've thought? I sure wouldn't have. I was deemed one of the last to be married in all my groups of friends. But when love comes a-knocking, you gotta open the door and let it in!

SO, there are probably a few basic questions one has for a girl who is in love and engaged.

1. How did you meet?

I work at Lexington Law firm, selling credit repair. We're always hiring new people. This new boy, Johnny got hired and one of my friends had a crush on him. They arranged to go hot tubing, and my friend Alyssa and myself were invited to come. Once we were at the hot tub, Johnny called one of his friends to come join us. His friend's name was Logan. Once he got there, he and I started talking and flirting (you know how it goes- INSTANT attraction).

But then, after a long night of letting our fingers get pruny, we parted ways. No number exchange, NOTHIN'! At first I didn't think about it much, but as I was lying in bed, I was shocked to say the least. We had hit it off so well! Why in the world didn't he ask me for my number??

The next day (Saturday) I had work. All day. Halfway through my shift, Johnny leaned over and asked me what my extension was.... A couple minutes later I got a call from this 801 number that was not in the system as far as I could tell. The gentleman on the other end proceeded to ask me a couple questions about credit repair. His voice sounded familiar and his questions were unusual. I concluded that I knew EXACTLY who this was, but I played along.

"I have another question for you," 'Mystery Guy' said, "What are you doing next weekend?"

I busted up laughing, knowing it was Logan. He and I talked for a bit, and I got his number off of my work phone and we started texting.

Crazy enough, we have only been apart one day on this crazy adventure since then.

2. How did you know????

Ah, the infamous question. Everyone is so different. You see, when Logan and I started dating, I had absolutely no doubts, and even more crazy was the fact that he made me want to not be single. You see, I have a past of wanting to stay single FOREVER. I had too much fun being a social butterfly. No guy could really capture my affections long enough... Don't get me wrong, I've TRIED to be in relationships. But in the past I was always wishing I was single.

But this time is was different. Being with Logan made my want to always have him near. I stopped caring about the frivolous dance parties and countless guys' numbers I could get. I didn't care about meeting new, hot boys every weekend to flirt with. Those immature (if you will) desires vanished. I started thinking a lot more serious about my future and how I wanted so badly to have someone to share it with.

I think the time I can pinpoint falling head-over-heels in love was not long after we met. You see, we didn't date too long before it got serious. There was one night when he and I were simply talking, as usual people do, but we started talking about the Gospel.. He brought out his missionary journal and we read some entries and talked about life. From then on, I KNEW. His family and my family were both thrilled that we found each other...He checked everything off on any list I could possibly draft up.

Best of all, I knew he cared about me. I know he loves me. This is probably the most amazing epiphany that I could in no way have prepared myself for. As things progressed, I started to feel more and more for this boy. I couldn't imagine my life without him. (Any life that was enjoyable that is to say.) I felt as if my skin was the only thing that was keeping me from going everywhere at once. The fact that he felt the same only intensified it all.

You see, I'm a deeply flawed person. I have countless traits that are sometimes difficult to deal with. We need not go into detail, but let's just say I'm grateful. I feel loved, which is such an amazing thing in and of itself!!

Logan is perfect. Lemme tell you a little bit about him. He is a handsome, 24 year old man. He is so so so smart. It intimidates me! He's the kind of guy that you could drop off anywhere and he'd be successful. He grew up in Tennessee and went on a mission to Chile. Now he's in the construction management program at BYU. He gets grumpy when he doesn't eat and chews really loud when he does, but he's always taking care of everyone around him and never lets a moment go by without telling those he loves that he loves them. He is so close to his wonderful family, as I am with mine, that we have so much fun all together. He is an awesome wakeboarder and loves being on a lake any time he gets the chance (us meeting in winter hasn't allowed me to see it firsthand) .... He takes such good care of me. I don't deserve it. One thing is for sure, I am blessed. So utterly and completely blessed!

I am so sorry that was so long. How about this: In my next post (which should come soon) I'll tell you about how we got engaged and the whole she-bang. Pictures to come. Then I'll proceed to write updates of how the wedding planning is going. Fair?